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Da Dorothy,
Me áve dis problem, bein a big bad bloke, me always avin trouble
wiv da women ya know. Dey dissin me for a muff job init. I can cope
wiv da attenshun but me girlfriend Julie is gettin mad wiv me cossa
all the attenshun me gettin. Dey dont know me in Amsterdam so I am wonderin
if me can come to Amsterdam for a cultreel break and not get all dis
attenshun from me publics. Can yew atta Stun giff me da gen on where
to be an who I should be seein dar?
Ali G, Berkhamstead
Dear
Ali,
The first place I would recommend to you is the Berlitz School - where
you can learn to speak a bit posher mate. I can guarantee you that if
you arrive in Amsterdam with a posh accent and a John Collier suit nobody
would recognise you.
Dorothy
Dear
Dorothy,
We are collecting money for a worthwhile charity and wonder if you would
make a donation for our next fundraiser. We are approaching all major
companies in Europe seeking your assistance. I enclose a sponsorship
form and look forward to your reply.
JR Hartley, ANTS Action Group
Dear
JR,
Upon scrutinising the form I understand that you will be walking from
Lands End to John O’Groats with a suggested sponsorship of 25p
per mile - Well as your letter reached my desk, I suppose you want some
advice. Take the train, it's cheaper.
Dorothy
Dear
Dorothy,
My master doesn't understand me, he ties me up in the garden for hours,
takes me out on a lead to the woods every Sunday, makes me beg for my
dinner, and expects total obedience at all times. When do I get a break
or a chance to go out on my own?
Spot the dog
Amsterdam
Dear
Spot,
Living in Amsterdam can be a bit of a mystery to some of us. But you
are lucky to have so many clubs that cater to your fetishes. I mean,
you couldn't behave like that in public walking down a German street
on a Sunday afternoon could you. Just learn to appreciate what you have,
I'm sure that your master would respect your wishes if you could come
clean and have a frank talk. Next time you go to the Trash Party, see
if you can slip off of your lead under cover of darkness and have some
fun
Dorothy
Dear
Dorothy,
Can you please suggest a cheap way of pleasing my boyfriend - we are
on a budget and need to get some new sex toys.
Gabrielle
Dear
Gabrielle,
I'm not going to tell you because you forgot the postage stamp AND wrote
your letter on an empty fag packet.
Dorothy
Dorothy
is here to help you. Write to her c/o The Amsterdam Stun or send an
e-mail to: dorothy@amsterdamstun.com
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